No Day But Today



I spent my evening Saturday with my family in the hospital as my cousin, Chris, made his final journey.  At the young age of 33, he was taken from us.  Chris and I share a birthday, July 4th.  He is exactly 1 year older than me.  And I suppose it is for that reason that I always felt close to Chris, despite the fact we did not hang out all the time and even went long periods of time without seeing eachother.  Chris battled addiction – and won and after a  very long battle.  He had gotten his life together, has a beautiful family and was helping others to overcome their addictions.

It is this that I am having such a hard time with.  He went through so much, came out on the other side, and was then taken out by an infection.  He did enjoy life and lived it to its fullest.  He made an amazing impact on the people he knew. His Facebook page has blown up with memories and kind words.

So – why? I just don’t understand. Why do his kids have to grow up without their father? It seems so senseless and I just can’t wrap my head around it.  And the worst part is we will never know.  It sucks all the way around.

Which brings me to the tie in with my blog. We HAVE  to live every day to its fullest.  We never know when our last day will be.  All the more reason that I NEED to be healthy and be there for my kids and my family.  Diabetes runs in my family, even had Gestational Diabetes when I was pregnant. If I don’t get this weight off, I will be next.  I am more determined than ever to get Fit, get Healthy , and maximize my life!

I owe it to myself and to my family.  Life is too short. We need to live each day to the fullest. images


Keep Swimming, Never give up and Never give in ❤





Dear God make me a bird…..

I’ll admit it, I am frustrated .  Very frustrated, irritated and wee a bit down.  Tonight’s work out had running elements in it.  Running. Ugh. The thing is, I WANT  to run. I WANT to run well. I WANT to run a 5k.  My issue is I am so damn fat that running isn’t even what I do – its more of a saunter-jog with the end result being some sort of cardiac arrest.   And I get that – for now I am very content to do my own thing and go along at my own pace.  I always finish – usually way after everyone, but that is okay.

My frustration comes from my calves.  They freaking kill me 2 minutes into the run.  I have been doing stretches and got some great advice from the coach tonight, but it is like a hurdle I cannot get over.   I have the drive to do it – to finish last if you will , but my body giving out and not allowing me to do it is not allowed.  I have been working so hard and to have a hiccup like this is such a ball breaker and spirit killer.

Of course I know things will get easier as the weight comes off.  Its just a kick in the pants when it pertains to a goal you have.  And I know I am probably making it seem worse than it actually is. I hope doing all the stretching I have learned will ease it up, too.


Gotta Keep swimming images-7

What’s on the Box?

I HATE not being able to do things like everyone else.  Since I started this journey, thats kinda the case. I keep moving, but sometimes the movements are modified.  And that’s Okay.  I just tell myself the proper way to do things is a goal. That gets me through. Plus its something to work towards.  When I started, I could not do a box jump if you paid me.    I literally had someone holding my hand trying top help me jump and still could not do it.  So, I started out on plate weights, each week adding 1 more plate – then finally on April 18th – ( yes I know the date ) I DID IT! I JUMPED ON A BOX! Not a high one, I think just a 12″ but hey! I freakin did it! I was so excited. I had met a goal! images-3

And that my friends – was AWESOME!

No matter how big or how small, having that goal keeps driving you.

You gotta do it! You gotta keep swimming – don’t give up and you will get there!


Pretty Plus aka Junior Miss Fatty McButterpants

Good evening my peeps,

Now, if you know me, you know that my self esteem has basically never existed.  I have always had body issues, never felt I was pretty or good enough.  Now, this in no means is any reflection on my upbringing.  In fact, I had an amazing childhood full of family and friends and too many good memories to name.  I just never felt good about me.  And I suppose to this day, I still don’t but I am working on that. Hence this journey.

So – Pretty Plus was the line of Plus Size clothes for little girls from Sears when I was a kid.  SO, of course having my issues, I wanted to be pretty – there fore wanted to be ” Pretty Plus.”  but what the frack? Plus size for kids? We are creating kids that will have issues instead of helping them make good choices when they are young.

Welp, I certainly got the Plus part down, still not happy with the pretty part, but baby steps, right?  Now, this story is one we in my family get a kick out of, because, yes its funny.  And I suppose God’s cruel irony is this costume I am stuck in, but it got me thinking….

If you a woman, you know the frustration of finding the cutest piece of clothing and the devastation that it does not come in your size or better yet – you try and squeeze your fat ass into a smaller size and feel even worse than when you started. Why do we have to separate sizes? Why can’t clothing manufacturers make clothes in all sizes for every shape?  the same cute dress in size 0-28?  What is so hard about that?  It totally sucks having to go to a ” Plus size” store when you just passed 10 stores that you would love to shop in.  Just another reason I made the decision to get better with me. I want to wear the cute dress! I want to look good! I don’t want to be limited to horrific patterns in uncomfortable materials! ( You volupotous women out there know what I am talking about) Yes, clothing manufacturers, the way to make us larger ladies feel good is to give us limited items that look hideous. Maybe its a plot to motivate us to want to lose weight, lol.  Mission Completed!

So this week my work outs have been a killa. Some of the hardest since I started. Monday night I laid there on the floor between reps, staring at the ceiling thinking ” I would love if that pipe fell right now and hit me in the head” then thinking ” Cause if that pipe falls, no way I can move out of the way” Then tonight, finished after time, but still finished! I HAVE TO FINISH! I am okay with finishing last, but for me, not finishing is not an option.

One of my biggest goals for my self is to rid myself of “X”‘s in my clothing and have clothing that does not start with “2” followed by another number.  I don’t want to be PRETTY PLUS anymore. It is one of my driving forces.

It has taken me a long ass time to get in the right frame of mind. Its not easy and everyday I struggle with my self.  But I know this is the right path and I need to JUST KEEP SWIMMING.


Keep Swimming my friends – you will get there .


Encouragement – YES!

Cover of "Couples Retreat"

Cover of Couples Retreat

One of my most favorite movies is Couples Retreat.   Seriously – freakin love this movie.  One of my favorite scenes is when the couples are doing yoga with the yoga instructor.  He offers up some great catch phrases like ” Regard Me” and  “Encouragement – yes!”  You tube the scene cause I am totally not making it seem as funny as it is. –  But to my point – ENCOURAGEMENT! YES!

I have been very blessed to have been given a terrific support system. My family and friends are bar none – the best. They have encouraged me and supported me through every step of this life.   And you know what sucks – not everyone has that.

The first step in any great decision has to be made by  you.  Be it fitness, be it a big move, be it a new hairstyle – you are the master of you own destiny and YOU have to decide when the time is right to take some action.  Then comes the hard part – implementation and execution.  These are the things that make you want to hide under the blankies and never wake up.  ( At least for me anyways, lol) I have found that when I get a ” good job” or a ” you got this” when working out – It make me want to kick ass and do the best I can.   Imagine how good we would all feel if we got just a tiny bit of encouragement here and there.  To hear that someone else thinks you are doing good – just makes you feel better I guess.

So I leave you with this my friends – share some encouragement tomorrow – share some love . Give someone a smile and just make someone’s day.

Click here for  Encouragement Video

Just keep swimming my friends and you will get there 🙂

Just Keep Swimming!

Once of the big things I have learned through this process is that there is no short cuts, no quick fixes, and no magic pills when it comes to results with weight loss and fitness.  I have only been traveling down this road for a month and I have had visible results.  It took me a long time to get in the right frame of mind. I know people that have been supposedly working out the same amount of time I have, with no results.  I know everyone is different, but what this whole thing weighs down to is – YOU HAVE GOTTA BE DEDICATED! I am finally dedicated and no matter what I finish my workouts. I may finish last, I definitely cannot do everything that other people in my class can do, but I ” Keep Swimming”.  I keep going. I keep trying. I don’t give up. And if you think about it – ” Just Keep Swimming” can be used in so many aspects of our lives. Whenever you need to keep going, keep persevering, you can keep swimming.  If its important to you, you will find a way. Or maybe it will find its way to you when the time is right.

Just Keep Swimming and you will get there 🙂