Just Know I Say I Love You And Hello Forever

” Just Know I Say I Love You And Hello Forever ”   is one of the last coherent things my sweet Gram said to me.  She was in CCU at the hospital and she knew she was getting ready to take her final journey.  It means so much to me, that I got it tattooed on my forearm, so I can always look at it and she will always be right within arms reach.

My Gram Tattoo

Thanksgiving is spent at Gram and Gramp’s house every year.  I have been dreading it.  I know as soon as I walk in that house and she is not at the stove, and then not at her chair, I am going to be a puddle.  I have been trying to prepare myself as best I can, but I am failing.  I miss her so very much.  I’m kinda hoping that writing this today will help me.

Honestly, its not like I have not dealt with loss before,  I have.  Plenty of folks have left us for better places. I just miss her so terribly.

It’s no secret I love bread .  I love my rolls too.  And every year I would walk in and Gram would say to me  how she got some nice rolls  for dinner.  That came across my mind yesterday and I lost it.  It’s funny how the little things bring back the most memories.

I know the best way to handle it and to honor her is to go today so we can all be together like she would of wanted.  I just wish she was here instead.  Not to mention, this will all happen again on Christmas Eve because that is another holiday spent at their house.

So – to honor my Gram I am sharing with you some photos of this amazing woman.  Things that bring such joy to me when I see them.

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4 Generations







These are just some of the pictures I have .  Gram loved all of us so very much and she made sure we always knew it.

I am blessed.  I am honored.  I am thankful. I am lucky.  I had 35 years with an incredible woman in my corner.  My children had the rarity of having a long relationship with a great grandparent, who she adored and they adored her.  My husband got another grandmother.  My friends got another grandmother.

She was everyone’s Gram.  That was so evident during her services.

On Thanksgiving , she would always make sure everyone had a plate to eat before she would even allow anyone to prepare anything for her.  I feel like I should bring her a plate today , and maybe I will.

Hug your loved ones tight, let them know how much you love them, EVERYDAY.

No matter how old they are , no matter how sick, no matter how healthy, no matter how far you are.  Let those you love know they are loved.


Happy Thanksgiving Everyone,





Looking forward to 2016 with open arms

Happy Sunday World!

How has everyone been since August ? Yes, I know, August.  Safe to say 2015 has been a complete crap shoot for me.  Between being sick, moving , my Gram passing, and just life, this year has sucked it hardcore.  My fitness has taken a definite back seat, but I need to get it driving auto pilot.  The tendonitis I developed in my foot isn’t helping either, but I can ‘t be like this.  I literally do not recognize myself when I look in the mirror.

Being overweight, or morbidly obese, I know I have said it before , but it is almost like you don’t see yourself, so you don’t face it everyday.  If that makes sense.  Like, Everything looks the same to me, but I don’t look the same to everyone. So, to me, it almost feels like I haven’t changed, but yet there is this drastic change that everyone can see. ( I hope this makes sense to someone other than me)

So, what am I gonna do about this? All talk no action, right? I know, I suck.

Well, actually , my husband has decided he wants to get fit as well, which is great. We are trying to find something that will work for both of us so we can do together.  I am looking forward to it.  We just need to agree on what we are going to do.  I know what works for me.  But what works for me, he has never done in any way shape or form, but he does have things he likes to do , so finding the balance is what we need to do.

The next month will be crazy with the holidays, so I thought instead of filling you with my tales of overweight woe, I would share some holiday stuff or just daily stories , then get into the fitness stuff in the new year.

The Holidays are a time to be happy, not a time to be depressed that I am still a Fatty McButterpants.  So I am not going to be.


I’m 35, I have a wonderful family and that is all I need to make my life bright.  The rest is just gravy.  I am not going to stress that I have not hit any goals I set for myself this year.  And honestly, I think I may not even set a goal for myself next year.  Who knows.

Just gonna roll with it and see what the universe sends my way 🙂


Much love and blessings to all of you that keep coming on the swim.  I know its been a slow process following my journey, but hey, that’s life , right?


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