Armpits and Magoo

The latest in a series of unfortunate events regarding Meganitis is an ongoing severe armpit pain.  Yes, I said it , armpit pain.  Truth be told my armpits always hurt. Weird, I know.  But its just another thing I have gotten used to in my daily life.  However , this week, the armpit pain has been freaking awful.  Throbbing pain in my armpits, yup, this is what my life has come to.

So, normally, I would call my Mom and she would say something to make me feel better regarding my armpit issue. Usually something wacky and insane to make me laugh whether or not she realized she was being wacky and insane.

Thanks to Facebook’s “on this day” feature , a wonderful memory came back.  Maybe some of you are familiar with the cinematic genius that is Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol.  This film was a staple in our house growing up and my mother, my sisters and I would happily sing along.  Honestly, we reference this movie all the time.  Countless hours of laughs through my lifetime thanks to his movie.

So today , when I was feeling particularly low and upset about my illness, this memory popped up on Facebook.

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Of course I burst into tears.  But this is just another way Mum was fucking amazing ,  I mean she was just nothing short of incredible.  And I am so thankful that this beautful creature is my mom.

I hope you all are lucky enough to have someone in your life like my mother.  Someone who found the laughs in everything, someone to be goofy with , someone to love you unconditionally no matter what bad decisions you make.

I don’t know when if ever my heart will heal.  I kinda think It won’t.

Going to keep moving on and keep swimming.

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You May Say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one …. 

Momma was too . 


My mother was probably the biggest dreamer I know . Always having hope that her dreams would come true . I’d like to think that all her dreams came true , but I’m sure they didn’t . I mean if her dream was to be the bestest momma ever and the bestest nana ever and just the greatest human to ever live – then mission accomplished! 

Sunday we started the process of going through Mums things . Gut wrenching doesn’t even describe it . It was fucking awful . It would of been no matter if it was a month since she has been gone or 10 years . I hated it . 

As long as I can remember my mother was always dreaming of a better way , dreaming of her own business so she could contribute. She did the usual , you know the home party route , Princess House , Party Lites , she did Avon . In fact , it was when my mother was canvassing the neighborhood selling Avon that friendships were forged with our neighbors . Now , 34 years later , we are still friends . That’s magic . 

My mother had a cross stitch business for a large part of my life as her health would allow . She would sew these amazing samplers and then she would stain them to look antique. I would go with her to craft fairs . She was so talented , it blows my mind . She had done an after school program that I helped her with . She made cross stitch kits for these kids . They all loved it . Honestly I had forgotten about it until I was looking for a cross stitch kit for my daughter and I to do together . I , myself haven’t done it for probably 20-25 years, but I want to give it a whirl . And my daughter wants too a lot . So the search continues for a kit . 

Amongst my mothers things were a plethora of crafting items . From frames to jewelry making tools and beads to jewelry she wanted to sell , and as I think of it , it makes me so sad . She had all these ideas , probably thousands of ideas and she never really got to see them through .  

It just breaks my heart that her body would  not allow her to fulfill her dreams . I hope she didn’t look at it that way , but I can’t help but think of it like that . 

All of this has me really thinking about my dreams and what I want out of my life . What am I passionate about ? What do I want to do in my life ? I mean I got very lucky with 3 healthy kids , but what do I want ? For me ? To fulfill me ? I think as parents we get so caught up in our kids that we forget about ourselves and what made us who we are to begin with . 

So , for me , I want to get back into writing . I have story ideas that I need to bring to life.


I love writing . I always have and it’s something I have been going over and over . In another moment when Mum sent me a sign , I was watching the Simpson’s last night ( yes , I watch the Simpson’s , don’t be hatin’) and it was the episode where Moe becomes a writer and gets to go to Word Loaf . Check it out below : 

Moe N Lisa Simpsons
I looked at it as it’s an episode about writing . And I have been searching to find myself and how I honor my mother . So , I took it as a sign . 

I think the way to honor her the best is to just be me and not stop dreaming . 

And now that I’ve got some star power up there , maybe some of these dreams will come true . 

Don’t stop dreaming 

Don’t stop Believing 

Don’t stop Swimming