Weekend Wrap Up

I had a pretty good weekend !  How about you ? 

I was up really early on Saturday , 4:30 am , had to be to work for 6 am .  Then it was a 10 hr day . Usually after working on Saturday  I need to take a nap . I was pretty exhausted when I got home but it was almost 5 so I just kinda relaxed . 

We had dinner then I decided I wanted to try and go for a walk . There is a rail trail about 10 mins from my house , so the hubs and I headed there .  

Lo and behold , I walked and survived. I survived all 2.4 miles !!! 

2.4 miles !!!!

I was dying at the end of the walk but I am so glad I did it . 

Then today , my daughter and I headed to my sisters house . First off was some Pokémon Go , my daughter and nephew had a blast . We walked around for a while, had some lunch , then headed back to the house for swimming . 

It was definitely not as warm as I would have liked but , I wanted to get some water aerobics (or my version of them ) in .


I was in the pool for about 45 minutes , running , walking , did high knees , jumping jacks and some actual swimming .  

Man , was I tired after that , honestly, still am .  But – again , I did it ! 

Not only did I get in exercise this weekend , I am down 8 lbs since I got back in the wagon ! 

Cheers to a great week everyone! 

A flare today but that’s okay


Honestly, I have had a pretty good couple of weeks . But man , my legs today when I got home were ( and still are ) screaming . 

It really sucks . I wanted to work out tonight . But my legs had other plans . I have resolved to be better and more positive about my conditions.  

Normally I would be really upset that I couldn’t do what I wanted .  But instead , I’m just rolling with it . 

The thing is , I HAVE TO . I have to function and more importantly I need to listen to my body . Take it slow when I need to and accelerate when I can . That’s part of the reason I chose the Piyo . I can go at my own pace when I’m at home .

In the mean time , I am eating better and having Shakeology for lunch . I’m happy to report I’m on my way ! 

I’m in such a better place about this whole process now . It’s a good feeling . 

Hope I can make it last ! 

Gotta keep swimming!!!!

Another Day Down and I’m Still Standing 

Happy Friday Everyone!

I’m well into my reboot of my fitness journey . And honestly, I am doing way better than I anticipated! I’m still standing !

I have accepted that I need to take it slow and I am in a good place about it . I did the Piyo the other night and then tonight I did 10 mins of cardio , then 15 minutes of Piyo . I know it’s only 25 minutes but something is better than nothing .

It’s strange to say I’m in this place now . But I guess being sick and limited to things will open your perspective.

In addition to my feeble workout attempts this week , I stopped drinking soda . I’ve been drinking carbonated water , it’s fizzy and gives the soda feel . Good alternative I think .

All in all I feel I really good about things so far .

Gonna keep an open mind and keep on swimming 🙂

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Trying Something Different

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Hello Big World! I know , I know, its been months.  It’s not  you, its me, lol.  So, if I’m being honest, I have been a lump.  I am dealing with chronic illness ( fibro and still undiagnosed “Meganitis ” )  and all the joys ( NOT ) that go along with it and basically just trying to stay afloat in this crazy world.  Long story short, I am in pain everyday.  And fatigued. Good Lord, the exhaustion !  I wish I could find a way to combat it.

So, I have been wallowing in this pit of dispair and honestly , its been 2 years I have been down , if we are counting .   I have let it hold me back and control me and I need to break free . I have read several times that exercising , while it will hurt, in the long run , I will feel better. I think I owe it to myself to explore these options.

Nothing in life would make me happier than returning to Coach Jane and Crossroads .  Unfortunately that is not in the cards right now, but I am not writing it off down the road a ways.  I need something I can do when I have energy, which means working out at home.  I need need something low impact while my body adjusts .

So, I have decided to try something new to see if it helps me. I could be completly wrong and this could blow up in my face, but I am going to give it a go. I am currently on Gabapentin for my issues and let me tell you , I thought I was nuts when I had gained 40 lbs, but it turns out , lots of folks gain weight with Gabapentin. I need a way to combat it, cause honestly , I am less sore when I take my meds and really don’t want to change that up right now.

I joined some Fibro support groups to see if I could relate to some folks and get just some general info.  Its a real great forum .  Here and there folks would post about if they were working out and the thing that came up more and more was Yoga and Piyo . Piyo is a Beachbody program.  After a lot of research and speaking to people, I decided to give Piyo and the Beachbody programs a try. I am a bit nervous since even when I was working out, yoga was not something I was into, but I kinda need this is going to be my wheelhouse for a while.

I plan on diving in tomorrow .  I gotta get a yoga mat.  I will check in and let you all know what I think .

Hopefully, I can find the balance and shake this funk.

Thanks for coming on the swim folks!

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I’m THAT mom… and I’m okay with that

Happy Women’s March Day !

 

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The significance of this day has left me with so many thoughts, I just had to share some.

All this talk of Women’s rights is so vital.  If it weren’t for women’s rights, there is no way I could be the person I am today .

This is my body and ain’t no one stopping me from doing what I choose to with it.

I pray I am setting a good example for my daughter to be independent, be strong and to do what makes her happy. I hope these decisions continue to be hers.

I feel I am a hard working , kick ass momma.

I don’t know about you, but I have been seeing so much about ” Super Moms” lately.

You know who I am talking about, Those perfect moms that make it to every performance, every PTA meeting, every field trip, make every lunch (complete with love note ), make every game, take their kids to every birthday party, bakes for every bake sale, sells the most at every fundraiser…. we all know that mom.

I am in no way knocking this, just sharing my thoughts.

But Guess what bitches? It ain’t me.

Yes, I am THAT mom.  I never make it to the field trips , the performances, or any meetings. I make it to most games, we go to some birthday parties, never bake for a sale. And on occasion, we might get some fundraiser sales.

“Good Golly Meg, why are you such a horrible parent?” you may be thinking .

The answer is simple and becoming much much more common. I know there are probably thousands in the same position I am in.

I work. I work full time. Monday – Friday and every other Saturday . And when I am not at work, I am still responding to emails and on occasion taking work related calls.I have a good job and I am taken care of.  I have been with my company for over 10 years. I would say still = 90 % of school functions that we have been invited to are during school hours. How about throwing  us working parents a bone?

I work to provide for my family.  I am not ashamed to say we need two incomes for our family of 5. I am so incredibly thankful for the stability my job has provided us.

And while Working Mom Guilt still gets me every time one of these things come up, I still think of the big picture.

My family has gotten used to the food in their bellies and the roof over their heads.  I’d like to keep it that way . The clothes on their backs, they like those too.

So, while I may not make it to everything and not participate in every school function, I am still their biggest cheerleader in life. I choose to work to make sure they have what they need and them some. If I didn’t work, we would not be going to Disney in April. I would not have the ways and means to do the things that we do together.  Even if it is just going to get ice cream , its creating memories. And I am determined to make sure no matter what , my kids have good memories to look back on .

They may not remember that I didn’t make it to the book fair, but they will remember goofing off with me going for a ride or playing mini golf.

Creating positive lasting memories is what I would like for my kids. I don’t know how I am doing , I’ll probably find out when they have kids.

I’ve been the unconventional mom, I have been the cool mom, I’ve been the asshole mom, I’ve been the young mom

I’ve  been that mom that was the youngest in the room , with my jeans and t shirt on surrounded by the “stepford wives ” .  I got the stares and looks.  Even though our kids were the same age in the same activity ( on the occasion I was able to make it to something) but I had my son at 18 and these folks waited til they were older. Got looks for that too.

I own my shit. I was a young mom. I work full time. I love my family fiercely . I have made bad decisions. I have made good decisions.

I hope that all this talk in the political universe will continue to allow me to be me.

THAT MOM.

A full time working married mom of 3 who is raising 3 incredible, caring , empathetic, creative,  human beings.

Be good to your kids. Be good to your family.  Be good to people.

I am hopeful that the next 4 years do not set us back 50.

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A New Approach

Hello Everyone!

I know its been another 2 months since my last post.  When I started this blog it was to share my chubby girl in the gym stories, feelings, struggles and what nots.  That was in 2013.  And honestly since the end of 2014, my health has been an issue that keeps popping up, rearing its ugly head.  Current status : head being reared loudly.

I love to write, I love to get out my feelings, I can’t hold shit in and I can’t act as if nothing is bothering me. I just can’t , I’ve tried, believe me, and in the end, I wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s just who I am.

So, I am going to be here more often, and maybe not necessarily about fitness as my body allows, but maybe just about life and the way things are , are going, and how I am feeling.

I hope you will continue to join me.

So, where am I at today ?

I have come from enlarged lymph nodes, to removed lymph nodes, to no cancerous lymph nodes, to abnormal lymph nodes, to abnormal blood work, to lit up thyroid, to prehashimotos, to lowest IG-2 the immunologist has ever seen in someone who is not on chemo, to whole body soreness, to even more blood work, to still no answers.  All we have concluded is I have immune deficiency.

Fast forward to this year, the whole body soreness  is gone other than my knees. I started taking my Plexus . 

To say that Plexus helped my soreness would be an understatement. I virtually erased it after 2 weeks.  I am so beyond grateful for discovering it.

Now, once my whole body was not sore, my knees felt left out and decided they would start acting up.  At first it was my left knee, then slowly the right, now its both. Feels like bubbles on my knees. Like in the Incredibles, when Mr. Incredible sets off the tracker and he is hit by all those black blobs, yeah, so it feels like that , I would imagine.

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Yeah so that is what my knees feel like. Sucks, cause everything else, was good!

Ugh Freaking City.

I went to my doctor because my legs were getting swollen too, and I had gained some weight, so I thought I was retaining water. They put me on Lasic. Yeah, did not do crap other than make me pee like crazy. So it was not water in my knees.

Went back to the doctor.  Now, obviously I am extremely overweight and my thought was this is because of that. Doctor gave me referral to an Orthopedic dr and also gave me a prescription for something to help me jump start my weight loss while I really could not exercise , or even go for a walk. Stairs are the enemy.

That stuff was Amazing.  But it was only for 15 days. Deal was,  I got to orthopedic, then go back to dr after that to discuss what was planned and further discussion on the weight loss pill.  Thing  was that my appt was for July 5th, in my line of work, taking off the day after a holiday or even taking time off on the day after a holiday is just not feasible. It honestly causes more problems than its worth. So I tried to reschedule. I was on vacation in the middle of July, of course they could not get me in. Leaving me with an appointment this past Friday .

I went into this prepared to recount my past almost 2 years of issues just incase it was important, but honestly had prepared myself that I am a Fatty McButter and this is the latest in my self destructive path I seem to be stuck on.

They did my vitals, they took my X Rays, they listened to my story about my quest for answers for my unnamed disorder/disease/ what ever.

Doctor comes in and we go over my issue.  Looks at my X Ray and drops the bomb that , my knees are fine. Perfect. In fact the knees of a 20 year old.

Pump the damn brakes. WTF?

My knees are perfect. Perfect spacing, perfect knee caps, freaking perfect. No sign of any distress due to weight or anything else. At this point I just start tearing up. Cause I was expecting this to be – you are a fatty, lose weight and your knees will be better. You will be able to walk and feel human again .

Instead I am told my puffy legs  and knee pain are most likely due to inflammation from an ” unnamed disease ” that I most likely have .

He then goes on to list all the things I should be tested for.

Lyme Disease – Been there done that and all its variations

Lupus – yup

Rheumatoid Arthritis – yup

Sarcoid – yup

Among other ones, it was like I was sitting there and someone had recorded all the other doctors I have been to and this guy was pressing play. I was devastated. I know I have no technical diagnosis, I know that I am just trying to get by in life with some relief and I need to be conscious of my condition/disorder . I think from now on, it will be know as Meganitis, at least that is what the girls in my office call it. I think it works. But how weird is it that , this guy would come out with the same thing? How is it that they all have this same damn answer but no one can fix me? Talk about damaging.

So, as I sit there in tears, cause I just can’t with this shit anymore, he tells me I should see a Rhumetologist. Told him I have one already . Told him the meds he put me on for my soreness when I flipped out on them because I was beyond miserable, turns out it is just a glorified advil, which explains why I did not get much relief from it .

I am sitting there, utterly defeated and I said some folks told me a Cortisone shot might help me. He said we can try that for sure, it probably won’t work, but if it does, you come back every three months and we can do it.  I jumped on it. He did them in both knees. And confirmed there is no fluid in my knees . He told me it would take 24 -48 hrs to kick in. That was Friday, it is definitely helping, the extent I guess I will know tomorrow. I am certainly walking better. I am still calling the Rhumetolgoist on Monday , who will prob send me back to Immunologist so I can see what is up with all my crap.

I am hoping I can get to a point where I can get back into the gym.

GOOD LORD I MISS IT SO MUCH!!!!!

I am going to get self loathing here, but just let me rant.

I hate my body, I hate the way I look. When I am able to work out, I know I still look the same, but I feel better cause I know I am working on it. Not being able to even go for a walk is really just a killer. I had 2 weddings in July. I spent money I had no business spending on getting my hair , makeup and new dresses. All in an attempt to feel pretty. And I did, for the first time in so long I really felt beautiful . I got so many compliments, even from chicks in the bathroom, lol, not from my husband, but that is no surprise. When she was doing my makeup, I could not stop looking in the mirror. I just could not believe that was me. I wish Naomi could follow me everywhere, lol. Must be what a Kardashian feels like.

Here are a couple pics :

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I took a lot of selfies, I will admit it

 

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Me and my baby girl

 

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Typical full body bathroom selfie – Dress :Amelia, Lularoe – Love love love

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Me and my gorgeous sister Caitlyn

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Me, my Dad, Caitlyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On both of these days, I felt like a million bucks. I would really love to feel good all the time. I just need to get there. Hopefully I am on my way .

In other news, my kids are all growing up. It is hitting me like a ton of bricks lately . My oldest, Tyler is going to be a senior this year and has decided he wants to go into the Army. He has taken the Asvab and is working out so he can be in top condition for his physical . On one hand, I cannot tell you how absolutely proud of him I am . This is such an adult decision and he is working on things he needs to, to get there. On the other hand I am beside myself because my baby will be gone probably at this time next year. I see his face everyday. I know this is a part of growing up and getting older and this is the process of life. I don’t see my parents every day. I’m okay. But Ty, is my baby. All my kids are my babies. No matter how old , no matter anything. I know I have a year to process the gravity of this and I call I can do is pray that I created a good human who makes good decisions. I think so far, we have done a damn fine job.

All in all, I have been in a really bad place lately , I guess the good part is, I realize it. As opposed to before in my life where it would just swallow me whole.

Thanks for letting me rant. Hopefully I will have a better report tomorrow on the shots!

 

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Gotta Run on Marathon Monday

Most of you are aware , I’m a Massachusetts gal . Masshole through and through .

3 years ago Boston was attacked by 2 cowardly brothers at the Boston Marathon . So many people hurt and maimed and in the end , 4 souls lost . Boston is not to be messed with , we literally shut the city down to find these assholes . And they did . And while only 1 of them is answering for their heinous crimes , thousands have risen above with their courageous will,  to show that we will not be brought down by hatred .

All this being said , yesterday was Marathon Monday here in Boston . Since I started working out , every Marathon Monday , the workout has a running element . Yesterday was no different , but in so many ways – for me – it was .

We all know my struggles with running . Since I resumed working out this year , I haven’t run . I’ve been rowing instead . But how could I not run in Marathon Monday ? So , I figured , I gotta run .

The workout was great .

It was an Amrap in 26.2 mins .  I completed 3 rounds ( def went over time, but not by much)

4 wall climbs – can I just tell you ? I got up there ! I didn’t think I would be able to move my legs up the wall . Now , of course , I wasn’t flush up the wall or able to move my hands back , but hot damn ! I was on the wall ! And it wasn’t even the struggle I remember .  Victory

18 wall balls – I don’t even know what weight I had , but these seem to come easier to me than they did before . Still hard , don’t get me wrong , but I keep moving.

16 Burpees – these were modified , but even then , these were still hard for me

26 lunges – I having some knee issues lately, my best guess is all this weight has caught up with me, I just need to work at it and get the weight off. I am sure they will stop bothering me. Anyways, I did reverse lunges on the TRX. And while modified, man did those kill.

Then – you guessed it. dun dun dunnnnnnn…….. THE RUN

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The run was 200 m . I completed the first one. Slow and Steady , not really a run, or a jog, but faster than a walk.  I was almost back when my calves started burning which was always my issue.  So, the next 2 runs, it was modified, so it was almost 200 m, prob more like 175 or 150. Anyways, I had to do it. As I am there dying, trying to not stop, all I could think about was there were people who literally lost  limbs completing the marathon. Folks who lost so much in the bombing and they are running 26 miles, and my fat ass can’t even jog 200 meters? Sweet Baby Jesus. I suck.   Between that and my ” Just Keep Swimming ” mantra, I finished. 3 runs, 3 rounds. And I did not stop.  I think that was the part that I was the most ” like wow” about .  I completed each “run”  without walking.  For me, this is GINORMOUS. Freaking Huge.

I was really thinking about this as I was doing the workout.  This time around, I feel like all these moves are coming easier to me. Even with the modifications, maybe that’s why.  Its still a struggle to do things, and honestly, I hope it always is, as I get better , more fluid with it and able to do things fully .  I feel so much more accomplished this time around.  Even Coach Jane was saying I am more confident.

And I really am.  Weird for me. To be confident in anything is quite different for me.  I have the worst self esteem and always have.  I think the worst of myself.  I am working on it. Working on me. And truth be told, I kinda like who I am right now and where I am going. I’m trying and I guess that is the best I can do .

Gotta keep at it! Looking forward to Lift Day on Wednesday!

 

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Refuse to Sink

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Refuse to Sink.

I think this is a perfect way to explain how I feel right now.

My health, my life, my well being, I have taken  matters into my own hands and sticking with what works for me.

I Refuse to Sink.  I will Keep Swimming.  I will conquer no matter how long it takes.

 

 

 

This week at the gym, I was really proud of myself. Here is how I did:

Monday

8 min AMRAP

5 push press – 25 lbs

6 box jumps – I am jumping on 2 plates right now,

working my way back up to the box, currently at 7″

7 KB swings 0 26 lbs

I got 5 rounds, 11 reps

6 min AMRAP

6 thrusters – 25lbs

60 single jumps

I got 3 rounds.  Whoa Nelly were those jumps harder than I thought! Snuck up on me!

4 mins- as many backsquats as possible – 15 lbs – I got 60.

To say my legs were burnin would be an understatement.

Wednesday – Lift day!!!

My favorite!!! Wish it was every day 🙂

Back Squats

3-3-3-3 increasing weight after warm up set .  6lb- 75 lb- 85 lb – 95lbs!!!!!!   Yeah baby – 95 lbs, how the hell did I pull that out?!?!

Push Press

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60 lb- 65 lbs- 70 lb- 75 lbs

Here are some pics from my Push Press -courtesy of my girl Alicia 🙂

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And – Can I just say , I didn’t look as bad from the back as I thought I would , lol

 

 

Accessory work / 3 rounds

10 single leg dead lifts – 18lbs

8 seated presses – 18lbs

30 frog pumps

(3) 20 second hollow holds

Thursday

4 rounds

200 m row

15 wall balls – 8lbs

15 box jumps – ( actually 7″ plates )

15 hollow tucks

I completed this in ……. get ready for it……. 18:24 !!!!!!   What the frack ?!?!?  I was dying, sweat dripping, eyeballs sweaty, ready to puke, but I DID IT!

Honestly, I believe it was the power of MC HAMMER , that propelled me.  We had a 90’s throwback jams playlist going , along with Hammer , we had Humpty Hump, No Diggity, you get the gist.  I was 2 Legit 2 Quit! It was quite the interesting class.  Coach Jane always makes it fun.

 

I have got to tell you folks, yours truly , is back at it , back in the game, and the Swim is strong! After the past year and a half of all my various crap, I am back doing what I need to do for me .

Managing my condition, once I had a better understanding of what is going on and how my body is reacting to things with the info from my drs, was number 1.

I needed to get working out.  I really just love working out in this format.  I do. I feel good, I feel strong , I feel fierce. I feel freakin awesome!

In addition, adding Plexus into my daily routine has helped so much . It has really helped me so much, I cannot even put it into words.  I wish I had discovered it sooner.  The funny thing is, I didn’t realize how much I wear my emotions on my face. I keep hearing how people can tell I am feeling better. How crazy is that?   I signed up to be a Plexus Ambassador because this product is now something I  NEED, I do. I figured why now get the most of it as possible.  If you are interested in learning about Plexus or want to give it a whirl – check  out my site : Meg’s Plexus Site.

Or shoot me an email – lets chat. lessthighsmorethunder@gmail.com

I feel better than I have in such a long time.

It’s taken me a while and its a long road, but I feel I am at the start of a great part of this journey!

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Sometimes you surprise yourself

Happy Easter Folks!   Sometimes you surprise yourself, I think that is really the best surprise .  I was at the gym 3 times this week .  Did some new stuff and did things that honestly going into it , … Continue reading

Just Keep On Swimming

Happy 2016 Everyone,

I apologize to the blogosphere for the neglect here.  Its bad, I know, I’m sorry.

That being said, here is a little update from my world:

As most of you in my private life know, I have been sick, since, well, Halloween of 2014.  I talked about my various health issues back in Bumpy Ride.

Basically, I have been sick since Halloween 2014 and 7 doctors later, we still do not have an answer as to what my issue is.  I feel like we are headed in the right direction, but nothing concrete yet.

What we do know:

  • I have ” immune deficency “
  • I have enlarged lymph nodes and thyroid
  • The issues are not the lymph nodes or the thyroid, they are just reacting to what ever is happening
  • No Cancer!
  • No lyme disease, no lupus, no sarcoid, no mono, no rhumetoid arthritis , no Stills disease, no Castlemans disease
  • Medication is working!

 

That being said, I am ready to resume my life. I have been incredibly sore, like , my armpits hurt.  Freaking weird, right? I mean, honestly, they still are sore, but not nearly as bad. I am currently on a medication they give to rhumetoid arthritis patients. At least I am able to function.

Here’s the thing, In the scheme of things, is what I have going on as bad as cancer? Or some terminal disease? Or even something that has required hospitalization? Nope.  Even so, not feeling good day after day after day, gets wearing on you .  I didn’t want to do anything.  I didn’t want to move some days.  I needed to get my hair done, didn’t want to . Not because I was being dramatic thinking I had cancer, but just because I didn’t want to do anything and I was going to let those grays run rampant! I needed some new clothes, did not want to get anything, not because new clothes are always an added expense, but just because , I did not want to do anything. I wanted to crawl into a hole, close my eyes and make the pain go away.

This whole process has been an emotionally fueled bad dream.  It’s frustrating as hell knowing that my body has been telling me there is something wrong for a year and a half, yet the best doctors in the world cannot tell me what is wrong with me. I had to learn to accept the fact that this is a long process and I may not get an answer ever, certainly not soon.  And I did.

It’s funny, I say ” Just Keep Swimming ” all the time to people to boost them, to encourage them, and the one person that forgets , is me. HOW EMBARRASSING!

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Once I got the medication to help with the soreness, things started to get into place.

So, now I am managing the soreness.  I got my hair done, ( goodbye grays! ) got some new clothes and finally, yes finally, Sweet Baby Jesus, I am ready to get my lard ass into the gym.

The hubs has shown interest in coming to the gym with me, however, we both have different goals and want to do different things.  Like, I want to lift weights, CAUSE ITS AWESOME, and he has no desire, so say Planet Fitness would be good for him. It has what he is looking for,  Bikes and low impact. Planet Fitness has no  interest to me ,not saying its bad by any means, I just know what works for me and I need to do what is right for me.  Hopefully we can find a happy medium 🙂

One thing I have learned and have the most trouble forgetting, is that THIS Journey, is about me. And what I want and what makes me happy.

Gotta keep swimming! Hopefully I will be back into the gym in the beginning of March.

Always remember to keep swimming, no matter the journey. Sometimes we just need to be reminded.

How have things been going for you in these past few months? Would love to hear your stories!

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