You May Say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one …. 

Momma was too . 


My mother was probably the biggest dreamer I know . Always having hope that her dreams would come true . I’d like to think that all her dreams came true , but I’m sure they didn’t . I mean if her dream was to be the bestest momma ever and the bestest nana ever and just the greatest human to ever live – then mission accomplished! 

Sunday we started the process of going through Mums things . Gut wrenching doesn’t even describe it . It was fucking awful . It would of been no matter if it was a month since she has been gone or 10 years . I hated it . 

As long as I can remember my mother was always dreaming of a better way , dreaming of her own business so she could contribute. She did the usual , you know the home party route , Princess House , Party Lites , she did Avon . In fact , it was when my mother was canvassing the neighborhood selling Avon that friendships were forged with our neighbors . Now , 34 years later , we are still friends . That’s magic . 

My mother had a cross stitch business for a large part of my life as her health would allow . She would sew these amazing samplers and then she would stain them to look antique. I would go with her to craft fairs . She was so talented , it blows my mind . She had done an after school program that I helped her with . She made cross stitch kits for these kids . They all loved it . Honestly I had forgotten about it until I was looking for a cross stitch kit for my daughter and I to do together . I , myself haven’t done it for probably 20-25 years, but I want to give it a whirl . And my daughter wants too a lot . So the search continues for a kit . 

Amongst my mothers things were a plethora of crafting items . From frames to jewelry making tools and beads to jewelry she wanted to sell , and as I think of it , it makes me so sad . She had all these ideas , probably thousands of ideas and she never really got to see them through .  

It just breaks my heart that her body would  not allow her to fulfill her dreams . I hope she didn’t look at it that way , but I can’t help but think of it like that . 

All of this has me really thinking about my dreams and what I want out of my life . What am I passionate about ? What do I want to do in my life ? I mean I got very lucky with 3 healthy kids , but what do I want ? For me ? To fulfill me ? I think as parents we get so caught up in our kids that we forget about ourselves and what made us who we are to begin with . 

So , for me , I want to get back into writing . I have story ideas that I need to bring to life.


I love writing . I always have and it’s something I have been going over and over . In another moment when Mum sent me a sign , I was watching the Simpson’s last night ( yes , I watch the Simpson’s , don’t be hatin’) and it was the episode where Moe becomes a writer and gets to go to Word Loaf . Check it out below : 

Moe N Lisa Simpsons
I looked at it as it’s an episode about writing . And I have been searching to find myself and how I honor my mother . So , I took it as a sign . 

I think the way to honor her the best is to just be me and not stop dreaming . 

And now that I’ve got some star power up there , maybe some of these dreams will come true . 

Don’t stop dreaming 

Don’t stop Believing 

Don’t stop Swimming 

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Another Day Down and I’m Still Standing 

Happy Friday Everyone!

I’m well into my reboot of my fitness journey . And honestly, I am doing way better than I anticipated! I’m still standing !

I have accepted that I need to take it slow and I am in a good place about it . I did the Piyo the other night and then tonight I did 10 mins of cardio , then 15 minutes of Piyo . I know it’s only 25 minutes but something is better than nothing .

It’s strange to say I’m in this place now . But I guess being sick and limited to things will open your perspective.

In addition to my feeble workout attempts this week , I stopped drinking soda . I’ve been drinking carbonated water , it’s fizzy and gives the soda feel . Good alternative I think .

All in all I feel I really good about things so far .

Gonna keep an open mind and keep on swimming 🙂

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A Step is still moving forward – no matter how small

Hello there everyone!

Last night at class – I was a massive Fail. Massive.   We did 200 meter sprints.  My 3rd sprint – I hit a dip in the pavement and rolled my ankle.  I had to do slam balls for the rest of the class. I was soooo frustrated! But I had to look at this in a positive way. Before the sprints we did a 400 m run, and I think I did pretty good with that. So that was my positive.  I HAVE to find a positive in everything or else, I am going to fail… That has always been my problem, I find a negative and fail, fall off the wagon and end up back at square one. Not this time.

Tonight, I went into class determined.  We did The” Danny ” Hero WOD. It is supposed to be 20 AMRAP of 30 Box jumps, 20 Push Press and 30 Pull ups. I completed 2 full rounds and 1/3 of the 3rd. So here is the breakdown of what I did and my modifications:

Box jumps = usually I use the 12″ box, which I have been very confident on, but I do need to go higher, 18″ was too high, so we added a plate and I am guessing around 14-15″.  I was intimidated and we actually had a higher plate at first, but once I got going I was great.  I completed 3 rounds of 30 jumps = 90 jumps

Push Press= knowing we had push press tonight, I referred to my journal to see how heavy I had gone last time we did overhead lifting.  Last weight I did was 55 lbs.  So preparing myself, I knew I had to do at least 55 lbs.  Setting up my barbell, I was going to jump right to 55, but went with 45 to start, just to make sure I was thinking the right thing. And it was too light. I moved up to 55 lbs.  Surprisingly, I feel like I owned it! I felt like a machine ! It was awesome! I completed 2 rounds of 20 lifts and 6 into the 3rd round = 46 presses

Pull Ups = CHA RIGHT! Haha, yeah, no go on the pullups – so it was ring rows instead. I hate ring rows! I completed 2 rounds of 30 rows = 60 rows

For some reason tonight – I feel awesome! I can see my progression. I feel my progression.  I am ACTUALLY improving! This is such an incredible feeling.  Even though these are small steps , all these steps are carrying me to where I need to be.  Every small step counts.  Just Keep Swimming.

DON’T EVER GIVE UP! As long as you do it one more rep or 1 step farther or 1 jump more than last time, you are on your way.  This is a long journey, if we wait til the end to celebrate, what fun is that? Find your victories! Cherish them! Embrace each little moment for the highs and the lows of where you were.

Never give up!

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