Baby Steps

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Good Evening Everyone !

It is with extreme happiness that I can tell you I finally did it = got my tookus back to the gym!

I got my new medication after my rhumetologist  stepped in  .  It arrived on Friday  and I started the injections that night.

I am still nauseaous, but it is not as much as it was before. I am hopeful that after a few weeks, it will decrease significantly .  The best part is that my doctor okay me getting back to the gym as long as I ” listen to my body “. So, I contacted my coach Jane at       Crossroads Strength and Conditioning to see if it would be okay if I came back with my issues.   And she said of course! Definitly knew that I was going to basically do everything modified but I had to get moving.  ANYTHING is better than nothing, right?!

So, started new meds.

Ready to go back to the gym.

And oh yeah, decided to jump on the Gluten Free train.  Let me explain : I had read multiple articles regarding Gluten and inflammation , so I figure, what the heck, I’ll give it a shot. So far I am on day 3.  Honestly, this is 2 days better than I thought I was going to do.  I’m not sure how long that I can keep it going, but if it helps, I am going to give it a whirl.

I got back into the gym and the warm up itself was already killing me , lol.  Onto the workout : here is my severly modified version .  No laughing out loud, 🙂

4 rounds

30 wall throws ( like the baby sister of the wall ball ) just tossed the ball at the wall

20 Step ups on the little box

10 DB snatches!!!! 15l bs —–> I LOVE SNATCHES! AND I COULD DO THESE NOT MODIFIED!!!

5 Push ups – these I did standing up leaning into the bar on the rack.  Truth be told, I totally could feel this in my arms and chest way more than any pushups I had done before.

I completed all 4 rounds – total victory ! And under 20 minutes!

This was complete baby steps.  And this will be for quite some time, I am sure.  This time around , I need to do the baby steps.  I used to get really frustrated when I thought of how far I had come or how much I could lift or do, but this time, I can’t be like that .  It’s wasted energy.  I am just going to roll with it and see how it goes.

Its been a productive week so far.  Hoping to get back in the gym tomorrow. Starting slow with 2 times a week.

Gotta Keep Swimming !!!!

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Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year Everyone!

I’ll admit, I have been quite miserable the last few months.  Throwing a personal pity party for myself.  I’m sore, I’m cranky, my appetite is horrendous, medication makes me sick….I have been just ugh.

Welp, I am really going to try and change this around.

I need to honestly, or at least dedicate myself to dealing with this chronic pain better.

For those keeping track, we are on 2 years of my body telling me something is wrong and no doctors being able to figure it out.

Current symptoms include: all over body soreness, painful arm pits ( yes arm pits) , side pain ,chest pain,  my  ” necklace of pain” ( my throat and collar bone area ) , crazy night sweats, fire skin and crazy appetite.

First off, gotta get my meds under control . The metheltrexate i am on is really helping my knees and the arthritis that developed in them , however the medication makes me soooooo nauseous every day ! like every day! i wake up and just want to barf, but i never do, its awful. I just sit and wait for it to pass.  Then there is the Prednisone…. ugh, why do they make it so it helps you feel better but you become a ravenous pig?

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Anyone else have that issue with metheltrexate?  Or Prednisone?

So, my doctors solution to that was changing it to an injectable one, however since i have no “official ” diagnosis and Meganitis is not a recognized disease anywhere, my insurance rejected it.

Ugh. So i was going back and forth with my doctor in messages and getting no where, so I have an appt this Weds. Hopefully I can get on the right path here.

I also am DYING to work out. To say my weight has increased would be a complete understatement, I don’t even recognize myself. I was going to get back at the gym, but then I needed another PET scan and my doctor told me to hold off starting back up .

But, now I NEED to do something. So , I am hoping I can get the ok to start back up , even if its small, and hoping he can do something to offset the appetite.

I never realized just how many people out there are dealing with chronic pain, be it from fibromyalgia, RA or any type of Arthritis , MS, cancers, its really nuts how many people are in the world suffering right now. It’s incredible .

We all find our way to get through the day.  One thing that I have found to help with my daily routine is Plexus. It has been beyond incredible.

They only have a small amount of products, but they have been awesome.  The Plexus Slim, The Ease , The Nerve ,  they are all so helpful to me daily. My pain has yet to be eliminated but, it definitely takes the edge off.

Honestly, I catch a lot of shit from people for promoting Plexus, but if they had any idea how much it has truly truly helped me, they would understand. Thats why I share it all the time, if there is someone out there like me ( based on my research there are thousands) that could benefit from these products, as a human , It is my job to share it.

 

Since I am hoping to be able to start doing some sort of exercise again, looking for feedback from the folks out there suffering from chronic pain. What do you do ? Or do you find that it is too difficult to do anything ? There has got to  be something I can do .

Here’s to making 2017 a great year!

Blessings and love to you all!

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Things have changed

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Things have changed drastically in my life since I started my journey.   When I started this, it was a fitness journey. Now my life has become the quest for diagnosis. Not exactly what I wanted out of my life, but this is currently where I am .

So, what does that mean for my blog?

It won’t be as much about weight loss , but rather more about my health issues and daily life. I have to imagine I am not the only one with ongoing medical issues and no diagnosis.

I hope I can share my stories and maybe see some too.

So this is where things currently are in my life medically :

After my disastrous ortho appointment where he basically pressed “repeat” on all the other things doctors have said to me, I went back to my Rheumetologist.  I gotta say, I do really like my Rhumetologist, Dr. Dellaripa.  He actually is very up front with me  and pays attention.  Out of all of the ones I have seen, I feel like it is just as frustrating to him that we cannot figure this out as it is to me.

Dr. Dellaripa wanted to do an MRI.  My knees were in excruciating pain. So , I was down for whatever. I go in for the MRI and the person at the desk asked how my veins were for the contrast.  I told her good, I ,had had  contrast several times before. They call me in.

I’m sitting on the table waiting for the IV.  And he starts to get me into position for the MRI. I questioned , wasn’t I supposed to have the contrast? He goes back and double checks the order, nope, not supposed to have it. We proceed with the MRI. He puts my knee in this boot type thing to keep it down. I thought I was going to scream. It was so painful not being able to move my knee at all, it being locked down in this thing was just horrible.  I was just about to hit the ” help ” button they gave me to stop if I needed to, when it was over. Thank God!

Fast Forward to the next day, Hospital calls me and apologizes profusely that they screwed up and I need to come back to have the MRI done again …..WITH CONTRAST!

To say I was upset and pissed is an understatement. This was complete bullshit.

It was so hard to walk after the first one, I am so glad I had my husband go with me. I was literally hanging on the railings in the hallways to help me walk. So, I was really not looking forward to this one.

This time, they gave me the contrast and it was not as long, thank goodness.

Results – I have arthritis in my knees apparently . It wasn’t there 6 months ago. Also still have enlarged lymph nodes everywhere. Even my knees. Who even knew you have lymph nodes in your knees?  And of course mine are messed up . Dr Dellaripa decided that we are going to treat me with Metheltrexate for the arthritis for the time being.  I had already been tested for Rhumetoid Arthritis and everything came back negative, but he knew I needed something. The plan was to start the meds and go back in a month.

It was definitely a rocky road starting the meds.  Took a few weeks to kick in, to the point where I am now  on a low dose of steroids. But it has been about  4 weeks and there has been a lot of improvement. My right knee is currently pain free. My left knee is still sore, but it is way better than it was .  I even did 5 flights of stairs last week – and survived.  Crazy, right?  Able to fully walk when done.  Don’t get me wrong , I was sore , but I was able to keep pace with everyone for the most part. A victory!

This brings us to last week.  Knees aside, I have not been feeling all that great.  My armpits have been killing me – big indication that I am in the middle of a flare up .  I have not felt any enlarged lymph nodes, but I guess this is their way of letting me know, they are still here.  So, doctor is sending me for another PET Scan , went for more blood work and now
I need to go see a Hematologist.

I flat out asked the dr if its possible that this is cancer and its a slow developing one or if its possible that it could turn into cancer.  His response was ” absolutely “.

Call it naive, call it frustrated, call it fed up , but I thought cancer was off the table.  I guess its on the table, I guess everything is on the table.Bone marrow test too is on the table.   Its like a viking table. Huge and ginormous and full of crap.

I’m looking at things differently than I did before. I am sick, no one knows how sick. And some days are better than others. But I can’t stop living my life.

So, I am not going to stress. I can’t.  I just gotta go day by day and enjoy things as I can .  I know some days will be better than others . And some days is better than no days. I’ll take what I can .

I have a busy week ahead.  Hoping for minimal to no flare ups.

Hoping everyone has a great week !

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The Hopes, The Dreams, The Goals ( in no particular order)

I was asked to post a blog about my hopes, goals and dreams.

I have really thought about this and it is so much harder than you might think.

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We all have them.  If you say you don’t – you are lying.  But some are so much more realistic than the others, fantasies, pipe dreams, if you will.

Pipe Dreams

These are the easy ones.  You know, the usual. The things we want and are impossible or just so far out of reach.

Win the lottery – I will say thought, if I won the lottery, I would take care of my family and close  friends.  I would donate to charities.  I have even thought of starting a charity of my own to help folks.

Own a Maserati – I love them!

Travel the world – Bora Bora, oh man, do I want to go there so badly.  A wee bit on the pricey side for us, but  if I win the lottery, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Most importantly , above all else – I want my family to be healthy. 

I want my mothers sicknesses to disappear.  I want both her kidneys to function properly.  I want her to feel good.  I want my sister to not be a diabetic anymore.  I want her to see good and not need glasses anymore.  I want my dad to quit smoking like a damn chimney.  I want his diabetes to go away.  I want him to be stress free and not have to worry about my mother.  I want my grandfathers vision and hearing to return.  I want him to be able to enjoy conversations with us and his great grand children.  And see them.  See us.  I want my grandmother to be able to stand straight and not have to worry about if she is going to fall.  I don’t want her to be in pain.  I could go on and on.  The bottom line is, I just want everyone to be healthy.  Unfortunately, sometimes, these things just aren’t in the cards.  I suppose the only silver lining is that these things make  us who we are.

 

Hopes and Goals

My greatest hope is that my children are happy , safe, and healthy.  I do say my prayers each night and this is what I always ask for.  Of course I hope that financially we will be okay.  I would to be comfortable.  I hope we will be able to purchase a decent home in a decent area.

I hope I can finally find the strength within myself to get back fully on my track.  I have let myself down so much this year.  I need to get this back together.  I hope I can finally get my tookus under 200 lbs.  That is a huge goal. I just gotta do it. Its just taking me forever and I keep derailing myself. I hope I can be all I want and all I see myself as being.

I hope to be happy.  I hope to stay happy.

I hope to continually inspire someone to think, ” Hey , if this chick can do it, then I can”  I hope someone out there follows my story and decides its never too late to get off your butt and make better decisions. I get such amazing feedback from you guys – it is so incredible.

 

In the end , I suppose it all breaks down to I just want to be happy and want my family to be healthy.  Do we really need more than that?

 

How about you?  What are your hopes and dreams?  No matter how realistic or attainable, I want to hear them!

 

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