I Feel Good Today !!!

Holy crap!!! It’s true – I FEEL GOOD!!!!

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I do not know what caused this change but man, is it great.  I am not sore .  I am not in pain.  My skin is not on fire.  My armpits do not hurt.

I don’t know why any of this has happened or how long it will last, but baby, I am rolling with it.

I have been really evaluating my life lately.

Things I know for sure:

  • I have to lose this weight – I talked to Coach Jane and next week I am starting back at the gym.  I have tried all sorts of ways to lose weight and honestly, the thing that worked for me the best was going to the gym and training with a coach.  And Coach Jane is incredible.  She pushes me and that is what I need.  I just gotta push through the pain . Now hopefully my workout clothes still fit.  I am really excited.  But I know that taking this step in the condition I am in is going to challenge me immensely. Hopefully this old broken body is ready for this ride.
  • I need to change my diet.  I have read that the best diet for reducing inflammation is the ” Mediterranean Diet” Basically heavy on the fish and omega 3 oils.  Yeah, I cannot eat fish. I can’t stand the smell of it, I think I have been scarred by too may co-workers microwaving fish …… UGHHHHHH.  But, I need to do something, I think I am going to give Gluten Free a try again , I am still on the fence, but I need to make a change.
  • I need to take care of me.  I need to listen to my body and not overdo it.
  • I am so blessed and lucky.  I have such a great family.  You should be jealous.  I am just so lucky.  I am lucky to have been raised by the most incredible creature to ever walk this earth.  I am lucky because I have a partner in life who has my back.  He is more than my rock. He is my strength.  I am lucky because I am a mother to 3 kids who continually amaze me.  I have good kids.  I am so proud.  I am lucky because I am the oldest of 3 girls and I have sisters that give me such strength when I am down . They have given my nephew and nieces, great men I consider brothers.  I have friends who are more than friends, they are family.  I have aunts and cousins who I actually talk to and see.  They are more than cousins, they are my big bros and big sis.  I am lucky because I have a good job.  I am thankful we have a roof over our head and food in our bellies.

 

Today was a good day . I am hopeful that it continues and I can become a human again.

Gotta see the light through the darkness.  I need to do that more often.  It’s the best way to honor my mom. She dealt with so much, I feel bad bitching about my issues , knowing how much she had to endure.  I miss her so much.  Grief is horrible.

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But ==== I am not going to wallow!!!! Mum would not want that.

Today was a good day and I am rolling ( or swimming ) with it.

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Another Day Down and I’m Still Standing 

Happy Friday Everyone!

I’m well into my reboot of my fitness journey . And honestly, I am doing way better than I anticipated! I’m still standing !

I have accepted that I need to take it slow and I am in a good place about it . I did the Piyo the other night and then tonight I did 10 mins of cardio , then 15 minutes of Piyo . I know it’s only 25 minutes but something is better than nothing .

It’s strange to say I’m in this place now . But I guess being sick and limited to things will open your perspective.

In addition to my feeble workout attempts this week , I stopped drinking soda . I’ve been drinking carbonated water , it’s fizzy and gives the soda feel . Good alternative I think .

All in all I feel I really good about things so far .

Gonna keep an open mind and keep on swimming 🙂

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Trying Something Different

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Hello Big World! I know , I know, its been months.  It’s not  you, its me, lol.  So, if I’m being honest, I have been a lump.  I am dealing with chronic illness ( fibro and still undiagnosed “Meganitis ” )  and all the joys ( NOT ) that go along with it and basically just trying to stay afloat in this crazy world.  Long story short, I am in pain everyday.  And fatigued. Good Lord, the exhaustion !  I wish I could find a way to combat it.

So, I have been wallowing in this pit of dispair and honestly , its been 2 years I have been down , if we are counting .   I have let it hold me back and control me and I need to break free . I have read several times that exercising , while it will hurt, in the long run , I will feel better. I think I owe it to myself to explore these options.

Nothing in life would make me happier than returning to Coach Jane and Crossroads .  Unfortunately that is not in the cards right now, but I am not writing it off down the road a ways.  I need something I can do when I have energy, which means working out at home.  I need need something low impact while my body adjusts .

So, I have decided to try something new to see if it helps me. I could be completly wrong and this could blow up in my face, but I am going to give it a go. I am currently on Gabapentin for my issues and let me tell you , I thought I was nuts when I had gained 40 lbs, but it turns out , lots of folks gain weight with Gabapentin. I need a way to combat it, cause honestly , I am less sore when I take my meds and really don’t want to change that up right now.

I joined some Fibro support groups to see if I could relate to some folks and get just some general info.  Its a real great forum .  Here and there folks would post about if they were working out and the thing that came up more and more was Yoga and Piyo . Piyo is a Beachbody program.  After a lot of research and speaking to people, I decided to give Piyo and the Beachbody programs a try. I am a bit nervous since even when I was working out, yoga was not something I was into, but I kinda need this is going to be my wheelhouse for a while.

I plan on diving in tomorrow .  I gotta get a yoga mat.  I will check in and let you all know what I think .

Hopefully, I can find the balance and shake this funk.

Thanks for coming on the swim folks!

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Baby Steps

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Good Evening Everyone !

It is with extreme happiness that I can tell you I finally did it = got my tookus back to the gym!

I got my new medication after my rhumetologist  stepped in  .  It arrived on Friday  and I started the injections that night.

I am still nauseaous, but it is not as much as it was before. I am hopeful that after a few weeks, it will decrease significantly .  The best part is that my doctor okay me getting back to the gym as long as I ” listen to my body “. So, I contacted my coach Jane at       Crossroads Strength and Conditioning to see if it would be okay if I came back with my issues.   And she said of course! Definitly knew that I was going to basically do everything modified but I had to get moving.  ANYTHING is better than nothing, right?!

So, started new meds.

Ready to go back to the gym.

And oh yeah, decided to jump on the Gluten Free train.  Let me explain : I had read multiple articles regarding Gluten and inflammation , so I figure, what the heck, I’ll give it a shot. So far I am on day 3.  Honestly, this is 2 days better than I thought I was going to do.  I’m not sure how long that I can keep it going, but if it helps, I am going to give it a whirl.

I got back into the gym and the warm up itself was already killing me , lol.  Onto the workout : here is my severly modified version .  No laughing out loud, 🙂

4 rounds

30 wall throws ( like the baby sister of the wall ball ) just tossed the ball at the wall

20 Step ups on the little box

10 DB snatches!!!! 15l bs —–> I LOVE SNATCHES! AND I COULD DO THESE NOT MODIFIED!!!

5 Push ups – these I did standing up leaning into the bar on the rack.  Truth be told, I totally could feel this in my arms and chest way more than any pushups I had done before.

I completed all 4 rounds – total victory ! And under 20 minutes!

This was complete baby steps.  And this will be for quite some time, I am sure.  This time around , I need to do the baby steps.  I used to get really frustrated when I thought of how far I had come or how much I could lift or do, but this time, I can’t be like that .  It’s wasted energy.  I am just going to roll with it and see how it goes.

Its been a productive week so far.  Hoping to get back in the gym tomorrow. Starting slow with 2 times a week.

Gotta Keep Swimming !!!!

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Gotta Run on Marathon Monday

Most of you are aware , I’m a Massachusetts gal . Masshole through and through .

3 years ago Boston was attacked by 2 cowardly brothers at the Boston Marathon . So many people hurt and maimed and in the end , 4 souls lost . Boston is not to be messed with , we literally shut the city down to find these assholes . And they did . And while only 1 of them is answering for their heinous crimes , thousands have risen above with their courageous will,  to show that we will not be brought down by hatred .

All this being said , yesterday was Marathon Monday here in Boston . Since I started working out , every Marathon Monday , the workout has a running element . Yesterday was no different , but in so many ways – for me – it was .

We all know my struggles with running . Since I resumed working out this year , I haven’t run . I’ve been rowing instead . But how could I not run in Marathon Monday ? So , I figured , I gotta run .

The workout was great .

It was an Amrap in 26.2 mins .  I completed 3 rounds ( def went over time, but not by much)

4 wall climbs – can I just tell you ? I got up there ! I didn’t think I would be able to move my legs up the wall . Now , of course , I wasn’t flush up the wall or able to move my hands back , but hot damn ! I was on the wall ! And it wasn’t even the struggle I remember .  Victory

18 wall balls – I don’t even know what weight I had , but these seem to come easier to me than they did before . Still hard , don’t get me wrong , but I keep moving.

16 Burpees – these were modified , but even then , these were still hard for me

26 lunges – I having some knee issues lately, my best guess is all this weight has caught up with me, I just need to work at it and get the weight off. I am sure they will stop bothering me. Anyways, I did reverse lunges on the TRX. And while modified, man did those kill.

Then – you guessed it. dun dun dunnnnnnn…….. THE RUN

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The run was 200 m . I completed the first one. Slow and Steady , not really a run, or a jog, but faster than a walk.  I was almost back when my calves started burning which was always my issue.  So, the next 2 runs, it was modified, so it was almost 200 m, prob more like 175 or 150. Anyways, I had to do it. As I am there dying, trying to not stop, all I could think about was there were people who literally lost  limbs completing the marathon. Folks who lost so much in the bombing and they are running 26 miles, and my fat ass can’t even jog 200 meters? Sweet Baby Jesus. I suck.   Between that and my ” Just Keep Swimming ” mantra, I finished. 3 runs, 3 rounds. And I did not stop.  I think that was the part that I was the most ” like wow” about .  I completed each “run”  without walking.  For me, this is GINORMOUS. Freaking Huge.

I was really thinking about this as I was doing the workout.  This time around, I feel like all these moves are coming easier to me. Even with the modifications, maybe that’s why.  Its still a struggle to do things, and honestly, I hope it always is, as I get better , more fluid with it and able to do things fully .  I feel so much more accomplished this time around.  Even Coach Jane was saying I am more confident.

And I really am.  Weird for me. To be confident in anything is quite different for me.  I have the worst self esteem and always have.  I think the worst of myself.  I am working on it. Working on me. And truth be told, I kinda like who I am right now and where I am going. I’m trying and I guess that is the best I can do .

Gotta keep at it! Looking forward to Lift Day on Wednesday!

 

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Something is better than nothing

Happy Sunday Everyone!

The past couple of weeks I did not get into the gym as much as I wanted. Last week was only twice and the week before was only 1( ugh ) time.

While I was not able to do what I wanted fitness wise, I took the next best thing this weekend and joined my husband at Planet Fitness.  Oh.my.goodness.gracious.

This sealed the deal that Planet Fitness is not for everyone, especially me, and that’s okay, but I had to move and Something is better than nothing.

I don’t know if every PF is like this one, but weight machine hogs galore. And the 3 weight benches they had with the barbells attached to the rig, Sweet Baby Jesus…. Once I got in there to do some bench presses – there was only (1) 10 lb plate…. WTF is that ? I looked everywhere.  At that point I was so frustrated with waiting for one, then the disappearing plate, I was ready to go after that.  When we got there, I did time on the elliptical.  Lot harder than I remember, but I did a good amount of time.  I think I can use PF for my cardio needs on the weekend, to get moving.  But I will not be using it for my regular workouts.

I admit it…… I AM A LUNK , lol.  I like to ” Pick things up and put them down” .

b28e395cd96f0bca138f2900265991c4I found this meme and thought it was HILARIOUS! Credit to @the_evolving. ( I  guess )

 

So here is how I did at the workouts I made it to :

Weds 4/6 Lift Day!

Overhead Squats = I really did not think I was going to be able to pull this one off, but lo and behold – I did 5×3 25lbs!!! Winna Winna Chicken Dinna!

Sumo Deadlifts ( which are so much fun! ) 5×3 95lbs.  Its fun, cause you can pretend you are a sumo wrestler, but when I do it, its more like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.

After that it was accessory work – 3 rounds

20 R/L side steps with side pump

10 dips

20 planks – with kneeoff box ( modified)

20 crunches

Unfortunately, I did not make it back into the gym until the next Monday

This was a killer. Complete KILLA

row 500m

2 rounds = 8 modified burpees, 20 jump squats

row 500m

2 rounds = 20 kb swings 26lbs, 10 alt pistols ( mod with TRX)

row 500m

2 rounds = 12 pushups, 15 plank jacks

Time was 23:43

Then it was back on Thursday . Yes, I missed my Lift Day 😦

It was a kettlebell night.

All I can say is SWEET BABY JESUS.

4 rounds

8 KB Cleans 26lbs

8 KB front squats ( 2 rounds just Bw squats )

8 KB Jerks 12 lbs

8 Lunges – BW

time was 27:13

This workout was so hard for me.  I was going to stop and cry at one point.  I wanted to finish, I wanted it to be over, I wanted to do it.  I just Kept Swimming.

Honestly surprised I did not cry or pass out.  I was so happy I finished.  IMG_4219

 

Today, I decided to go to one of our State Parks. Maudslay State Park in Newburyport , MA is a place I have been going ever since I was a kid.  I absolutely love it there.  It is a great place for a walk, run, dog walk, picnic, bird watch, horseback riding, kite flying, you name it, its great . Today , they had a telescope set up so visitors could look at Great Horned Owls that were nesting in the trees above the main building.  Its 480 acres of awesomeness. I took a great walk there this afternoon.  Other than the obviously pot smoking teens I walked by, the walk was really great  and super peaceful.  Here’s a little snapshot I took .

IMG_4244I know I don’t look super happy here, but it was a beautiful day . And I thought my hair looked good, lol.

If you get a chance to explore all the Maudslay has to offer, I highly recommend it.  You won’t be disappointed.

 

Bring a water and some binoculars too.  There is so much to see .

 

 

One of the things I have been actively avoiding this week is the fact that 1 year ago, I was really sick and things for our family took a drastic turn when we experienced a fire in our apartment building.  It sucked. 2015 as a whole, truly truly sucked.  On one hand its hard not to think about it, cause all of us are stronger for having gone through it.  I am still frustrated that they have no answers for me as far as my health goes.  I am thankful for Plexus and its effect it has had on my health,  a true ray of hope in my battle against this unknown. I am thankful that my amazing kids adjusted to hotel life, then to living in a whole new town, going to new schools and have THRIVED. My kids are unbelievable.  At least I know we are doing this parenting thing right. All 3 of my kids are exceeding expectations in all areas.  I am so proud of them.

So far, 2016 , it has been a pretty good year.  Here’s hoping it continues.

Wonder what this week has instore? Gotta keep swimming!

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Sweaty Eyeballs

First off –

Remembered my sneakers for Wednesdays workout, lol

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I gotta say folks, I am sore as hell today, but it is THE best feeling.  I worked my ass off this week and I am so happy to be back into my rhythm.

It’s amazing how much I missed it.  I know this is the right way for me to go and as long as I keep going, everything else will fall into place.

Wednesday was a strength day.  Overhead Squats were the nemesis.

Now, I can’t say for certain, but as much as I recall, I could never really do OHS with weight , I usually did them with a dowel or training bar.  Well my friends, my 1 Rep Max was 35 lbs!  I know, not much, but for me this is astounding! The other gals in class got much higher, one was even 100 lbs!  Incredible to watch #girlsthatlift.

My OHS.  Still a ways to go, but progress is progress!

My OHS. Still a ways to go, but progress is progress!

 

After the 1 Rep Max, it was onto the workout.  You guessed it, more OHS.  But this time, it was 100 OHS for time.  Yup.  100.  And every time the bar hit the floor, it was a 10 sit up penalty.  For this portion of the workout, I used the dowel.  But honestly, it wasn’t any easier.  It sucked.  I found myself putting the dowel down to do the sit ups as a break.  It was hard and I was sweating out my eyeballs, lol.

Here are my numbers from the 100 OHS

Finished in 9:44

Did 100 OHS

Did 40 sit ups

Me with my “cool towel” post workout . I was dying!

 

 

 

Thursday was hard.  Even sweatier eyeballs tonight!

It was an AMRAP in 20 minutes.

5 Power Hang Snatch

7 HSPU

25 Double unders/ 50 singles

That is how it was supposed to be done.  Here is my modified version :

5 Power Hang Snatch 35 lbs

7 Modified HSPU – pike position

50 singles

Our goal for this was at least 5 rounds.  My arms were not as bad as I thought they were going to be from the OHS —- until I started.  I banged through the 1st round now prob, then the 2nd round, it was a little harder.  By the 3rd round, we decided the 35 lbs looked too easy and I tried 45 lbs.  I did the round with the 45lbs but boy-o was it a challenge! I went back to the 35lbs for the rest of the rounds.

For this workout – I got 7 rounds and 5 reps!!!! Goal was 5  rounds .  I think 7 rounds of anything in 20 minutes is pretty freaking good!

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My Chips – 5 white for the Goal rounds – 2 blue for the extra rounds!

 

Chips are funny. I look at them as accomplishments .  I know to some they mean nothing at all, but when I look at these  7 chips, I am so damn proud.

How about you? How was your week? I’d love to hear about it!

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Back where I belong

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Happy Tuesday Folks!

Like I said, I was back at class last night, and SWEET BABY! Did it feel good!

Granted, I scaled the whole workout, but who cares? I did so much better than I thought I would.  And that is freaking awesome to me!

Here is the workout and How I did:

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Back Squats 15lbs ( training bar, but that is ok)

Burpees over the bar

200m run

 

My back squats, I was so okay with just the training bar.  Even the 15 lbs was a struggle.  Burpees – You know how much I hate those damn things, but I did them.

My biggest surprise of the night was the running.

As you can recall, me and running, we are not exactly friends, more like mortal enemies.

There was (4) rounds of the 200m run, so I dove right in.  I did my saunter-jog.  Not walking, not quite running, but moving at a steady pace.

AND EACH ROUND I DID NOT WALK!

My calves were on fire!  But I didn’t walk.  I JUST KEPT SWIMMING!!!

I know, I know, it was only 200 m each time, but for me, that is huge!!!

 

Take the Little victories where you can folks!!!

Have an Incredible Day !!!!

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Early to bed, Early to Rise

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I am slowly getting into my new routine of morning classes . I have gone to the 5 am class . I am soooo not a morning person . But I am freaking determined to get my workouts in , no matter what .

That means a 4:15 am alarm. Sweet Baby Jesus. What on earth was I thinking ? That is what I kept saying to myself the ride to the gym yesterday . But the workout had snatches and box jumps which are my favorites, so I just focused on that .

We warmed up and went over the workout .
12 rounds
3 wall climbs
6 alt Db snatches – 30 lbs
12 box jumps

At first I grabbed a 22 lb weight figuring I would ease back into it instead of going to the 35 lbs I used to do. But , yeah , that was too light . So up to the 30 I went . I still used the 12″ box and instead of the 2 plates I would use before , I opted for (1) 45 lb plate. I figured it was shorten than I used to do . I can do it , no problemo .

Cha right ! The universe had other plans and apparently they had it out for my shins . I took my first jump and promptly missed the top instead coming down on either side of the box . Got some nice bruises. But hey, it’s all good ! I kept on going , took the plate off, but kept going.

My goal was 6 rounds . Knowing it would take me forever I figured if I got through half I would be happy .
Lo and behold – guess who got through almost 10 rounds ! Technically 9+17.

I felt so great the rest of the day, which I honestly was not really expecting.

 

Today’s class I was on the fence about going into it.

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Push jerks 65 lbs

Power cleans 65 lbs

I used to be able to do 75 lbs, so I figured I would go for 55 lbs.  Everyone else in the class could go heavier.  But, 55 lbs ended up being way too light, so I went to 65 lbs.

This work out looks pretty easy, but if you dropped the bar during each set – like the 8th rep of the 10 set, then your penalty was 30 Mountain climbers.  I figured for sure there were going to be tons of Mountain Climbers for me to do .

But, when I got the 1st set of 10 done, I knew I could do it.  I just kept going , taking breaks between the sets and not the reps.  The goal was 20 minutes.  I thought for certain it was never going to happen, but guess who banged it out in 17:39?  This gal!!!!

It was just what I needed to get me pumped.  It wasn’t a PR, it wasn’t my best ever, but its the best I have been in so long, so I was down right thrilled!!!

Excited to see what tomorrow brings 🙂

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Reboot = Reignite = Rejuvenate

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Reboot

Looking back on this year so far, and UGH.  UGH CITY.  In fact, I am THE MAYOR OF UGH CITY.   On one hand, I am pissed. So pissed at myself, for getting into all these funks and straying off my path and what I NEED to do.  I have not worked out nearly as much as I should, I have gained weight back, and I feel like shit.  I have had some legit reasons for not making all my classes, but still, it stinks.  I have made piss poor eating decisions which doesn’t help either.  I failed, badly.  Time to Reboot!

But…. Here’s the good part – the old Meg would of let all of these bumps and hiccups knock her down, and keep her off the path.  I am still here ! I am conscious of the now and what I need to do! I haven’t fallen completely off the wagon, I am still dangling ,dragging along the back .   So, on the other hand, this is the best I have ever done, stuck it out more than anything I have done before. I AM going to get back at it.

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Reignite

I am back at it Wednesday this week – I have been out of the gym for a while due to the vertigo/ concussion symptoms I had.  Scary shit.  Doctor said no strenuous activity.  I am so excited to workout.  I seriously love working out, I love Cross Fit, I love my gym, I love my coaches, I love my community there.  The whole package is nothing but amazing.  It is such a great feeling after a killer WOD. Good Lord I miss it!!! I have reignited the flame that drove me.  I feel like I say this shit all the time, but for me, this is a constant process and constant journey.  So yeah, I am gonna say stuff this all the time, but that is just me keeping it real, like I tend to do.  This is real life.  Real ups and real downs,  at least that is what folks tell me they enjoy about my blog.

I always try, admittedly not as much as I should, but there are times, I try my damnedest.  I need to try harder for me.  I have goals and dreams and aspirations of who I want to be. What I want to be.  I know for certain, its not this current costume I am trapped in.  This reminds me of a poem I wrote back in 2011.

Adrift

Staring at the reflection in the mirror
The stranger she knows so well
the horrid eyes that look back
Her lids cannot shut fast enough
There is a person there, in there somewhere and she screams
Dear God does she scream
Misunderstood for so very long, she is stuck
The zipper on this clown suit is jammed and she is a prisoner
She tries to yell, to fight, to win
She is silent, she can’t move and she loses
Dying to win this fight
Aching to find the girl that was lost
APB’s and milk cartons are not cutting it
She cannot give up

I AM DYING TO WIN THIS FIGHT.  I AM ACHING TO FIND THE GIRL I LOST.  I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

You know I love writing my poetry.  Its such a release for me.  I don’t tend to share as much as I write.  I suppose cause I write for just myself and I don’t think others would get it… but then again, maybe they would.  I don’t know.  But I do know, in reading back some of my past poems, I have used that stuck zipper reference quite a few times.  See – I don’t belong in this body.  I need to fight my way out of it.

And don’t get me wrong, this body has carried 3 perfect, healthy, beautiful children.  There is something to be said for that I guess.  And there are some people who are perfectly happy to be larger, plus size, obese even.  Its all about what makes YOU happy.  Right now, this body is not where I am happy and I am going to fix it.

 

Rejuvenate

I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me for lack of a better term.  I know for certain I am a different person, than I was before .  I may not be taking the journey exactly as I had hoped, and it may be taking me way longer, and I may have taken 10 steps back, but I realize it.  This is something I never ever would of admitted or done before.  Like Ever.

 

So, here I am .

 

Back to the beginning it feels.

 

Determined to keep it going.  Determined to Keep Swimming. I still got some fight left in me 🙂

I hope you will continue following the journey with me .

 

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